Be heard on the issues that matter most to you!
Ellie (Lumpesse) has recently written about the frustration of combining being a sex worker with having another career (doctoral student) and the difficulties of keeping these apart and the internal pressures to come out. There is nothing unique in Ellie's dilemma, it is actually one of the most difficult things that indoor sex workers have to deal with. This is well described by Teela Sanders in her paper 'It's just acting' dealing with the emotional labour involved in keeping two lives separate. This in itself, is partly the result of the external violence of stigma, and partly the internal pressures of the 'management of feeling to create a publicity observable facial and bodily display' as described by Arlie Hochschild.
It would be incorrect for those who are unlikely to share the consequences to give advice, and as Audacia Ray comments, once you are out, you canot go back in again. One can only attempt to place onself in the position of being out and compare it to the tensions of remaining in. In calculating the former, one must take into account both the short and long term consequences, good and bad. For instance when a Winnipeg sex worker was outed by a journalist who provided identifiable details, the immediate consequences were severe, personally and professionally, but in the long run she felt a degree of relief.
Furthermore, academics such as ourselves have a bias we need to recognise and disclose, namely that the more sex workers that are out, the greater the possiilities for normalisation of sex work. But this must never be at the expense of the rights and welfare of individual workers.
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Your post made me think about the researchers I know who made their own participation in sex work (strip clubs in the cases I'm thinking about) a part of their published work and thus were out not only to their classes or their colleagues but to the world. And I'm also thinking about how placing their work in the context of research may well have legitimated it in a way that most academics who do sex work cannot do.
A couple of names that come to mind, and their published studies:
Katherine Frank, G-Strings and Sympathy (Duke University Press, 2002)
Carol Rambo Ronai, several articles including "Turn ons for money," (PDF ) with Carolyn Ellis.
I'm also thinking about all the ways that academics might be in positions of discussing sexuality and not revealing their own personal connections to the topics. I think about academics who have erotic blogs, academics who are polyamorous, academics who participate in BDSM relationships or who spend lots of time watching porn. (Semi-disclosure: I fall into at least one of those categories). I have certainly discussed issues in my own classes, issues with which I have personal experience that might be helpful, and I have not "come out".
And this is different from the more traditional way of thinking about sexual orientation and being out. On many college campuses there is a fair amount of support for being out, even among faculty. (There is also a lot of remaining heterosexism and homophobia). But I do come out to my students as bisexual and yet I don't come out to them regarding other aspects of my sexuality.
I'm rambling, I fear, but this is all to say that I hope to see this discussion continue. There are lots of pressures on people in all lines of work regarding the openness or closedness or connection or compartmentalization of their workplace and personal lives.
The fact that so many of us cannot live fully "integrated" lives is interesting to me in general, but I am especially interested in how these play out in academia because the academy is supposed to be the place where we search for truth and construct knowledge.
...because public space really matters!
Elizabeth
While many sex workers are part time, their other occupations are often concentrated in academia and the health professions. While we need more research on this, this observation is congruent with the construct of sex worker as teacher and therapist advanced by Sanders. Another structural factor in the relationship between sex work and the academy is the desire amongst sex workers to discover more about their chosen profession, and enlarge its empirical knowledge base in the face of public policy that largely ignores this. Other reasons include students and faculty turning to sex work out of necessity or inclination.
We have recently discussed at length the outing of a faculty member and its repercussions. The discussions around this included some consideration of the degree to which research involves becoming engaged in an activity as opposed to merely being an embedded observer, and this in itself raises methodological issues in ethnography. Can one fully understand stripping without stripping? And does stripping endanger one's ability to objectively deconstruct the activity of stripping? The well known examples referred to by Eliabeth imply at least a partial refutation of the latter question, and yet the ethnographic literature is replete with examples of where researchers have lost their way by becoming too immersed in the activity they are analysing.
Does engagement for purposes of research require outing? Certainly at one level, in terms of methodological transparency, it does, but that may not necessarily translate into an active public disclosure. A recent survey on campus suggesterd that students in the LGBT community felt frustrated that few professors disclosed their sexual preferences and orientation (other than incidental social comments that implied heterosexualism), but this in itself raises serious questions about faculty's rights to privacy and to lead lives outside of campus free from scrutiny and perhaps criticism by colleagues and students, as happened to Dr Diana Blaine at UCSF and the incident we have discussed here from the University of New Mexico.
Returning to the question of maintaining dual idendities, we need to keep in mind that as Elizabeth has described in her research sex work relies on the sale and purchase of fantasy (in which both professional and client may participate) and the constructed persona relies as much on maintaining a separate identity as does the actor inside the Mickey Mouse suit at Disneyland.
Finally to further address Ellie's dilemma, I will provide another example from amongst sex workers I count as friends. A sex worker applied for a managerial position in community services and faced the usual dilemma of the curriculum vitae. Since the position involved services to sex workers she decided on a limited self-outing and disclosed all. She was given the job. However a little later she was interviewed on public radio about the work she was doing with the agency, and decided to completely self-out. The personal repercussions were immediate, but there were no professional repercussions and she continues to work in the public sector. She describes the relief she experienced then and now from no longer having to conceal her earlier involvement in sex work while at university, motivated by necessity. This does not mean that this issue will not continue to raise itself later in one's career.
The sad truth is that while there is widespread fascination with sex work (Julia Roberts not withstanding) there remains a severe stigma attached to sex work that may, like sexual orientation, take at least a generation to erode.
Michael, your last sentence is the one that stays with me, nagging me about whether or not I should out myself more fully, more often, to more people. Here's why:
Take the stigma surrounding being gay as an example. The stigma has reduced dramatically in a generation or so in part because so many people are out. It is the "I used to be biased but then I learned my cousin was gay and now I understand" effect. I think it must be the same with other sexual identities, behaviors, and relationships. So if we don't, more of us, "out ourselves" we slow that process tremendously.
...because public space really matters!
Elizabeth
I'm finishing up my first semester of being an adjunct professor at Rutgers, where I'm teaching Human Sexuality to undergrads, including continuing ed folks. Last week I outed myself as a former sex worker to my students during a session about the sex industry. I did it towards the end of class, and gave students the option to go home or stay and ask me questions about it.
I outed myself partly because I feel that there is value in identifying myself within the framework of the sex industry when the discussion is about the sex industry - I'm able to confront issues people have with it, as well as speak from my own experience. I would have felt weird bringing in a guest speaker to do that.
The other piece of the puzzle is that my degree of outness in most situations will always be mediated by the internet. I am very traceable and have a very public existence online in which I identify myself as a former sex worker, current porn director, sex blogger with a trail of posts of an intimate nature, etc. So outing myself is always part defense mechanism - I can't be shamed by it if I talk about it freely, plus then it is discussed on my terms, not used as a weapon. And though I can't even begin to know the answer, I sometimes wonder how my approach would be different if I didn't have such a prominent online identity.
I am also a bit freer because I don't desire to do the traditional academic career path, I don't want tenure, and I've enjoyed teaching but if I wasn't invited back that would be ok too. I have other sources of income and other paths to career fulfilment so it's felt ok to me to take the risk of being out.
Thanks, Elizabeth and Audacia, your comments were both moving and inspiring. There would seem to be good reason to include sexual expression as grounds for prohibiting discrimination in addition to orientation and preference.
An additional point, where people maintain on-line personas under pseudonyms, as many now seem to do, is whether 'outing' in terms of disclosing sexuality still allows one to maintain a degree of privacy with respect to intimate details. Not everyone necessarily wants to be 'out' about everything in their lives. However if it is in itself a cause of inner turmoil, there may be reasons to disclose that too, at least to a limited circle.
We need to strike a balance between transparency and privacy.
My question remains not about internal turmoil but about political obligation. Lets say I'm one of those who would "prefer not to" reveal the connection between an online persona and my work persona. Do I not have some social or political obligation to consider the harm I am contributing to by remaining closted?
I guess my question is this: How many of us must acknowledge our own personal need for the kinds of nondiscrimination policies Michael mentions, how many must be out and organized before we have the policies that will allow others to come out if they wish?
I am grateful Audacia for being out to her students and also for recognizing that past decisions and future goals make it more reasonable for her to do so. Certainly her willingness to be out helps the rest of us who are not yet there. But just as there must be a balance between privacy and transparency there must be a sharing of the obligation of transparency.
Meanwhile, this seems a good time to say that we should have a week-long forum on the issue of sexual expression and academia just as we had one on sex work and human rights. Who's in?
...because public space really matters!
Elizabeth
First, thank you for writing about this issue, Michael. I think that the place I am in is similar to how Elizabeth feels. I spend a lot of time questioning whether I am a hypocrite or doing a dis-service to my students/colleagues by not being out. At this point in my career (finishing an MA and not planning to enter my PhD for awhile) I am at a crossroads. My goal is to enter a graduate program in order to study and discuss the rhetorics of sexuality and sex work and I want to do that while being "out" about my experiences and background. The more of the literature I read on these issues, the more I realize that my goal, while challenging, will not be impossible.
I was impressed with Liz Derrington's article that was published here and I really resonated with her statement about wanting to control the narrative that exists about herself. I feel like that is the place I would like to be in. I may close some doors by being open, but I am also finding everyday that other paths seem to become apparent.
I am probably a bit late in responding to Michael's post, but better late than never! I admire Ellie's openness to being open about her current career choice, but agree with Michael about the value of a balance between transparency and privacy.
In an ideal world each of us would be accepted for our inner person and how that inner person treats those around them. I'm thinking along the lines of "treat other people the way you would like to be treated". The problem with this philosophy is only some people subscribe to it. The rest, unfortunately, appear to believe they know best and the rest of us must be brought over to their way of thinking. I continue to wonder why many within our society have such difficulty accepting there are many different and acceptable ways to live our lives.
We don't live in an ideal world. We live in a world where people can be victimized personally and professionally for their choice of partner, sexual expression and/or orientation, skin colour or .... The moment we take the risk of sharing information about ourselves which does not conform to our society's average values, we may have closed some door or future opportunity.
I recognise and believe one door closes and another opens, but why close any we don't have to close? I remember being in a group of teachers and one woman, who was straight, told another, who was in a same sex relationship, she had the responsibility to advocate on behalf of all who are gay/lesbian/bi and transgender. The recipient of this directive works within a school board where a gay teacher had already been victimized and her career almost ruined; where all teachers had been asked/directed to self identify by their employer.
I believe each of us has a responsibility to advocate for equality and respect for difference and diversity within our society. It should not be purely the responsibility of those who may be most vulnerable after disclosure of their life style.
As far as what we choose to share about our private persona vs. public persona I believe it all comes down to we're entitled to our privacy. But, we continue to have a responsibility to lead by example. Just as we cannot allow racist or any type of hateful comment or "joke" to slide in a conversation neither can we allow our friends, colleagues or acquaintences to believe it is acceptable to denigrate another human being due to their sexual orientation, preference, expression, career choice.... We all have responsibility towards creating social change.
I am considering outing myself as a current sex worker. I'm certainly debating the wisdom in this. A large part of my motivations is to help break down stigma and just make life easier on myself. A lot of my reservation is the fear of making a target of myself.
Certainly I'd love to hear from this group.
XX
Amanda, I admire your motivation to "help break down stigma" and agree with Elizabeth that sharing our private persona(s) is certainly one means of normalizing any life style which the general population may consider to be alternative or marginalized. I suspect, however, it will take significant time for society to evolve sufficiently for the majority to accept sex work as an occupation which does not necessitate the "saving" of the worker. Given how difficult and controversial the process of legalizing sex work is in North America, it may, as has already been suggested, take a generation for change in attitudes to become evident.
As far as fear of making a target of yourself goes, I suspect there will always be those who target anyone they percieve as different or threatening to the status quo. This is only my two cents, but with your reservations around becoming a target and the implication from your comment that you would like to make your life "easier" I believe you are probably not at a stage where sharing your private persona will improve the quality of your life.
The only way I'd see it as making my life "easier" is because I've always been out to friends and family. I had to hide my former sex work for the past 4 years in a relationship. It felt unnatural to me. Basic honesty is easy for me (this doesn't mean I divulge a lot of detail, though).
But, your last question is a good one.
