Elizabeth, poly addresses this concept of "falling in love" with the descriptor NRE or "new relationship energy," that feeling of euphoria when we meet someone we're attracted to.

The problem in dealing with this topic is how poorly we understand the term "love," ascribing it to a variety of emotions. If one is intensely sexually attracted to another person, we assume it's love, rather than seeing it for what it really is. The term "love" is also hugely debased by our society, where we often use it to describe feelings that are transitory.

Finally, the young today are blurring the lines even more, telling their friends "I love you," instead of reserving that phrase for meaningful relationships that will last over time. As Snow Patrol sings in that song on "Grey's Anatomy" (a love fest for TV), "those three words/are said too much/and not enough."

Tom Paine
author of "Polyamorously Perverse"
http://perverselypoly.blogspot.com/