If, JanieBelle, as you say you hold Michelle Vitt's parents and her socialization responsible for Michelle's choices, then I have to wonder why your post sends such vitriol in the specific direction of this young woman. If you want to take her parents, their decision to homeschool her and her fundamentalist religion to task, then that is what you should do, and instead pointedly call her "brainwashed" and "uninformed."

I can't help but think that Michelle Vitt is probably pretty well aware that most people are kissing. In her daily life in this culture, she undoubtedly has read a novel, seen a movie, watched television or looked at an advertisement\. She has to be at least somewhat familiar with the concept that the vast majority of adults, if not teens, have kissed other humans for reasons outside of familial respect. And although I certainly find it unusual that a woman would choose not to kiss, I wouldn't take time out of my day to castigate her for her choices. I have to wonder why you do.

Furthermore, I take specific issue with this portion of your piece:

Your parents tell you that everybody says that, the people in your isolated little fundy world might say that in church, but the truth of the matter is that people tend to regret the things they didn’t do much more than they regret the things they did do. It is only the warped programming of your parents’ religion that would cause you to believe kissing before your marriage is regrettable.

You directly address Michelle here, and you do so in a condescending manner. You call her background a "fundy world" and sneer at her "warped programming." I fail to see how this kind of tone is helpful to anyone--to Michelle, to the discourse at large, to your own ethos as a writer, or to your argument. Instead of appearing as a thinker with the intellectual suppleness to approach this particular human with compassion, you come off with the kind of strident disregard for others with which you yourself  condemn your opponents.

Finally, I don't buy your assertion that "people tend to regret the things they didn't do much more than they regret the things they did do." I suspect I'm older than you, and perhaps I've made more mistakes than you, or at the very least, I've considered more completely the choices I've made. I have to say in complete honesty that there are far more things--and people--I regret having done than those I did not. At the end of the day, I fail to see how judgment helps either side of the fundamentalist/sexually free debate. I really can't see how addressing a young woman with the kind of hostility you have in this piece helps anyone--not you, not her, and not anyone who suggests that sex, and positive sexuality, is a community issue.

best,

chelsea summers