As a woman who identifies as bi, I particularly agree with your comment that not all the letters in LGBT are equal. For many years I identified as straight, but with the qualifier of having fooled around in college. I did this mostly out of a desire to not offend anyone since my long term relationships have always been with men.

I get annoyed when people dismiss bisexuals as slutty fence-sitters, as if we're omnisexual beasts, preying on the choicest cuts of meat in the room without regard for the feelings of the straights or gays.

In reality, it is sometimes extremely hard to be bi. I have married a man, but that doesn't stop my craving for women. When I've been with women, I miss the feeling of a man's cock (as opposed to a toy) deep inside me. It is often confusing because you feel like you're always missing out on something. You then beat yourself up for not being able to pick a side, a person, a sex to be with.

Binaries are never good, and trying to straddle the line is often painful, like doing splits on the edge of a knife.

Ironically, as the community has gained acceptence, we have stopped being so accepting. As with feminism, if we spend all our time going after each other, we'll never achieve our goals, and like the ERA, equal protection for gays of all flavors might be lost to our own in-fighting. If we could learn a lesson from the Second Wave of Feminism, I would hope that the lesson might be to stop trying to create a smaller and smaller definition of what it means to be "gay" (or a "feminist") and excluding those who want/need to help you the most.

In feminism, the white upper class women cut dykes, poor women, and women of color out of the movement. Let's try not to do the same thing to Transgendereds, Bi's, Drag Queens, and the (as you put it) more queer among us in the Gay community.