http://sexinthepublicsquare.org/node/279 Comments for "Responsible Non-Monogamy" en http://sexinthepublicsquare.org/node/279#comment-280 This is a very positive vision and I applaud it. I think my partner and I have been lucky to find ourselves connected to a small group that includes other committed dyads and some ethical, respectful singles to engage in bdsm play and some sallies into non-monogamy. The size of the group matters, I think, and contributes to everyone's ability to assess the other's ethics. And I'd say that age is a factor but not a reliable indicator of maturity. Unfortunately, this is never a perfect game and it is risky. People's "issues" and relationship status changes over time and that's a wild card in the process. Of course, monogamous couples face the same uncertainty but I think the sex-positive do play with live ammunition. I'd like to throw in this little provocation: What do we think of kink's continued portrayal as an "exploration," a "voyage," or a "discovery?" The whole terra incognito metaphor seems to work for lots of people, but it isn't for me. Sure, it's a learning experience to get into poly or kink, especially the more challenging bdsm aspects, and I suppose the metaphor avails itself of the uncertainty of it all. But really, in my experience, "exploration" doesn't cover it. These are relationships, not continents. The terrain is affective and personal, not geographic. To make a new sexual relationship is a choice, an act, a creation, not a discovery of some preexisting condition or place. Isn't there a better metaphor out there? We aren't conquistadors, we're architects. Mon, 06 Aug 2007 20:32:03 -0700 RC comment 280 at http://sexinthepublicsquare.org http://sexinthepublicsquare.org/node/279 <p>As a firm believer in the tenet that the human animal, such as we are, is not - nor was ever - geneteically predisposed to be monogamous, I am nevertheless a proponent of responsible non-monogamy as opposed to gratuitous, anonymous sexual encounters. While each may have its place, the former allows for the development of stronger and more vibrant relationship between partners who are on the same or similar pages when they embark on this journey.</p><p>As the host of a group that currently has 3000 sexually explorative member couples, I have been witness to most everything, bad and good, that might present itself in situations of this sort. I have seen couples blossom by coming out and opening themselves up to sexual exploration with others. Generally, these are couples with already strong bonds that are looking to expand their horizons by including others in their sex play - be they one time encounters or ongoing intimate relationships. </p><p><a href="http://sexinthepublicsquare.org/node/279">read more</a></p> http://sexinthepublicsquare.org/node/279#comments Monogamy, polyamory, swinging monogamy nonmonogamy polyamory swinging Sat, 04 Aug 2007 05:21:00 -0700 DDeviousSaul 279 at http://sexinthepublicsquare.org