Sex In The Public Square - Marriage - Comments

Ballot initiative results are a mixed bag

Elizabeth — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 03:03:00 -0800

Update on results as of November 5 at 6am from the CNN "My races" data:

Proposition K in San Francisco failed. No change in the enforcement of prostitution laws there.

Marriage bans passed everywhere they were on the ballot: Arizona (Prop 102) with 56% approving, California (Prop. 8) with 52% approving and Florida (Amend. 2) with 62% approving.

Voters supported reproductive freedom. The South Dakota abortion ban failed (Init. 11) with 55% of voters rejecting the measure, and in California a parental notification law (Prop. 4) failed by the same percentage. In Colorado Amend. 48 which would have given legal rights to fertilized eggs even before implantation also failed, resoundingly, with 73% of voters saying NO.

Prop K story in the New York Times

Elizabeth — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 11:46:33 -0700

The New York Times this morning has an article on Proposition K. It is pretty much a straight-reporting piece, and unfortunately doesn't do any investigative work to evaluate the claims made by either side. It contains the same quotes from Norma Hoteling et al that the measure would make the city a magnet for pimps and trafficking (unlikely since women could more easily report pimps and traffickers, as could clients). It quotes Carol Leigh (thank goodness) and the reporter did talk to a few sex workers to find out what they thought, and it ends with this bit of an interview with Patricia West, identified as a 22-year-old "independent, in-call escort":

Ms. West said that she enjoyed her work and believed that Proposition K would allow prostitutes to organize into collectives and negotiate for safer working conditions and better wages.

Ms. West concedes that what she does for a living “can be dangerous.” But she hoped Proposition K would make her occupation safer and more legitimate. “Working in a coal mine can be really dangerous, too,” she said “but it pays a lot of money so you’re compensated for your risk.”

The article also sites a local CBS poll of likely voters found opposition running slightly stronger than support but that about a quarter were undecided. If you are undecided and in need of more information, I recommend listening to the voices of those who will be most directly affected. Bound, Not Gagged , has an excellent collection of posts that might help you make up your mind.

I'm just a few miles and a

Iamcuriousblue — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 10:36:48 -0700

I'm just a few miles and a county away from San Francisco, so sadly, I can't vote for Prop K. I sent them a donation, anyway, and best wishes on what, even in a socially liberal city like San Francisco, is surely an uphill battle.

As Always...

Mina — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 19:28:58 -0700

Thank you... for all that you do. You rock!

Just Say No.

Lou FCD — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 13:18:09 -0700

Basic human rights should not be subject to the will of the majority. That's a basic underlying principle of our entire Bill of Rights.

No, neither the states, nor the feds, nor the people should get a say in the fundamental rights of other people.

No, the rights of the minority are not subject to the whim and the tyranny of the majority.

Just no.

the mind is the most erotic zone

tracya — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 12:16:30 -0800

yes, elizabeth, i was referring to this woman being too fragile. in her case, her lungs were so badly damaged by the special ventilator, part of one had to be removed. i can't see her ever being able to lie flat and have a man on top of her banging away....i CAN see a number of other positions that would be easier.

it sounds crude but thousands of people are born with disabilities and thousands more suffer trauma and life threatening illness. i've spent the day trying to find more information. here's a few things i found...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2004/oct/13/disability.socialcare

http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,1851774,00.html

i took "human sexuality" as an elective for my nursing degree, this whole subject is very relevent for me, particularly with my work in critical care. i wonder if at some point, a person who finally gets home and realizes how close to death they came, feels the need to explore their sexuality to its depths... hasn't orgasm been described as "a little death" ?

Mind over body?

Elizabeth — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 06:22:32 -0800

An interesting question, TracyA. My first thought was that, having witnessed his wife's recovery, his happiness and passion would be so strong that initiating sex wouldn't be a problem. But it sounds like you're wondering whether he will ever get over having seen her so weakened, and will he always be afraid that she is somehow too fragile for sex.

Bodies are amazing things in their adaptability and their resilience. It may well be our minds that need more retraining!

Here's a link to an organization based in the UK called The Outsiders. They're a group of disabled people working on issues of disability and sexuality.

http://www.outsiders.org.uk/

On their front page is a list of their goals, and the first one is "Work together to campaign for the acceptance of disabled people as sexual partners"

amazing stories

tracya — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 06:04:01 -0800

thanks elizabeth for that link!! i've read through a few (still working nights), they were so moving. it's interesting to read accounts of sex through the eyes of someone who may have different limitations.

i think the concept of physical/emotional limitations is a universal feeling, we all feel imperfect in some way so the stories really strike a chord for me.

being a nurse, i will also being looking at my patients differently. for instance we had a young (30's) woman last year who had guillian-barre syndrome. she was as near to death as a human can be, but survived. surely at 33, with a husband and two small children, her sex life is not over. how does this man who has seen his wife so critically ill ever feel comfortable initiating sex??

i hope they are able to relearn what sexual intimacy is.

Sex and disability

Elizabeth — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 17:28:03 -0800

Irving Kenneth Zola was a mentor of mine in the Sociology department at Brandeis even though I never took a class with him. He died while I was in my second year of graduate studies there, and while I never took a class with him I did have two weeks of proseminar with him and I was moved by several things he taught us.

One piece of writing he shared had to do with sex and disability. It was an intensely personal piece narrating a sexual encounter at the same time as giving the history of a relationship. I was thrilled to be reminded of it by your question, TracyA, so I googled one the one complete phrase I remembered from it -- "I fairly shout I love you" -- along with his name, and was even more thrilled when it turned up at the top of my google search. Here is the link to the piece, called "Sing a Song in Silence":

http://irvingzola.com/song.htm

The other writings on that web site are well worth checking out. Zola was a pioneer in disability studies. Oh, and he was also the husband of Judy Norsigian, one of the founders of the Boston Women's Health Book Collective, which publishes the amazing Our Bodies Ourselves. In fact it was Judy Norsigian who put the irvingzola.com web site together so that some of Zola's previously unpublished work would be accessible.

Stayed

Elizabeth — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 20:06:06 -0700

So disappointing. Legally, I suppose, it is sensible, though morally it just seems so wrong. Very frustrating. But congrats to Fritz and McQuillan!

Amnesia

JanieBelle — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 08:26:01 -0700

I forgot we had one of those....

D'oh.

I just added a link to that

Elizabeth — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 08:10:09 -0700

Thanks JanieBelle. I just added a link to that same page on our "Links" page under the category "Court cases"

Court Documents

JanieBelle — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 07:26:43 -0700

For anyone interested,

Lambda Legal has all the relevant court documents here.

Read the decision!

JanieBelle — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 06:59:12 -0700

Holy crow.

It's actually very readable and understandable, and he cites Lawrence and Loving among a pile of other cases and laws.

The best part is that he quotes Scalia a couple times.

Ouch.

And the NYT has a decent

Elizabeth — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 05:54:24 -0700

And the NYT has a decent story here .