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What makes a good play party?

Submitted by RC on 10 July 2007 - 8:49am.
There's got to be a lot of varied opinion on this and I'd like to hear it.  I was at a party a few weekends ago that I fully expected to enjoy - frankly it seemed right out of a fantasy - enormous house, five rooms in an upstairs area designated as play areas, a great room suitable for dancing, a private yard and large deck with a clothing optional pool, a lot of people I knew or recognized, two friends on hand willing to play, good food, etc.  But I was extemely uncomfortable.  Surveying my friends all I got was "the vibe" was wrong.  Someone blamed the feng shui.  I thought the whole place was much too brightly lit and also seemed bachelor-pad grungy.  We didn't stay long.  What makes a play party work for you?

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RC McCloud also writes at The Safe Word

Mirror neurons, pornography and voyeurism ›

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Good play parties

Submitted by Elizabeth on 10 July 2007 - 12:23pm.

RC, another excellent question! I love having you around these forums!

I've been thinking a lot about my assorted play party experiences and I find myself having a hard time coming up with a "formula" that distinguishes the good ones from the not-so-good ones. One thing that does seem to be true at the play parties I've enjoyed, and less true at the one's where I've felt -- oh -- less engaged, is that at the "good ones" a wide range of sexualities has clearly been accepted. I also like best the parties where the rules are clearly posted and where respect is evident in people's interactions with each other (e.g., where I don't get touched without first being asked, and where I see lots of appreciative and respectful voyeurs instead of energy vampires).

I know this sounds vague. I think I'll step out a minute and let others jump in. I'm sure I'll be back!

So, what does make a good play party?


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...because public space really matters!

Elizabeth

play parties

Submitted by tracya on 12 July 2007 - 1:17am.

i suppose it's like any kind of party, very hard to put your finger on it. obviously the location, people and mood but maybe it's something more like the right alignment of the stars! or the feng shui!!!

seriously, i think having clear rules is important in play parties, so people feel like they can relax and yet not have their space violated until they are ready. people come for different reasons, some come knowing they will only watch and others come looking for action and the rest undecided. my impression is that it takes a longer amount of time for people to relax enough to actually engage and that should be taken into account during the planning.

makes me wish i had plans to go to one....i could report back!


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Any party organizers want to chime in?

Submitted by Elizabeth on 12 July 2007 - 5:51pm.
TracyA, so glad to see you back! I hope we'll be seeing more of you around here! I've been thinking more about play parties since this thread was started, and it occurs to me that it would be great to hear from some party organizers: What do you do to create the kind of party you like to attend?
__________________________

...because public space really matters!

Elizabeth

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