Clit Notes

I’ve been thinking a lot about my clit.

As I play with more new partners, I continue to search for the best words and images to help them understand what I like best, what actually brings me to orgasm. When I was a little girl, long before I knew what I was doing, I masturbated by squeezing my legs together, one leg wrapped around the other. As I matured, I tried other methods, turning household objects into sex toys, using my fingers, but I always returned to squeezing my legs in increasing pulses of muscle clenches. It always delivered that amazing feeling that I was wanted.

When I started playing with partners, I enjoyed everything we did: finger fucking, oral sex, penis/vagina intercourse, but none of these things brought me to that place that I could achieve so easily just by squeezing my legs together. When a partner would pay special attention to my clit, sometimes it felt great, but sometimes it was painfully ticklish, and I would wind up pushing them away, not knowing how to guide them. I began to analyze what I was feeling when I squeezed my legs together. How could I figure out how to show my partners how to get me off? I believed strongly that I deserved orgasms as part of partner sex, but I just didn’t know what worked, other than this obviously solo game of leg squeezing. I worked more with my fingers, messaging my clit, fucking myself with my fingers, and I bought my first vibrator. I quickly found that fucking myself with the vibrator felt great, but it wouldn’t bring me to orgasm. But if I clutched the vibrator between my legs, near, but not directly on, my clit, I could jerk myself off very easily. I realized that what I needed was strong pressure around my clit, but not directly on it. The pulse of the vibrator, or of my clenching and unclenching legs, provided exactly that.

As I began to play with my beloved C, and sex became more adventurous and fun than ever, he helped me with my exploration. I could tell him when the touch was too direct, and it made me uncomfortable rather than hot, and he would adjust until he found the right spot. I discovered that I loved the combination of penetration and clitoral simulation: his fingers fucking me, his thumb, sometimes joined by my fingers, rubbing that area above my clit.

I owe a lot to Ducky Doolittle, the amazing sex educator and former web cam girl. This is why you should continue going to great sex ed classes throughout your life. I thought I knew so much, but she was the first one to really explain the full extent of the clitoral anatomy: legs, shaft, hood, and all. I found this video link on Ducky’s site, from the legendary queen of masturbation Betty Dodson (and via Susie Sexpert herself, Susie Bright). This explains it much better than I could. I love these women! This diagram from wikipedia is also helpful.

Now I had a visual image of the internal anatomy of pleasure, and I could really begin to understand what was happening and what was working. I rub the area just above my clit, from the edge of the hood, up into my pubic mound. Throughout that area I can feel my erect clitoral shaft, and directly simulating that is what leads me most satisfyingly to orgasm. If I place the head of my Hitachi Magic Wand against that area, turn it up to full, and press down hard, I can orgasm in a minute. Not to say I’m always striving for such instantaneous efficiency in an orgasm, but knowing how that works helps me in other situations. I can create this stimulation with my fingers too, or someone else’s, if guided to the right spot.

Recently, I was playing with a lovely partner, and he’d fucked me good and hard with a couple of fingers, made me squirt and squeal. Then he bathed me with the warmth of his tongue, and I floated in the bliss of that. But then I wanted a mind-blowing clitoral orgasm to top off the night. He’s such a good student, this one. I showed him, simply, where to rub. People came running from the other playroom down the hall to watch the aftermath as I moaned and screamed with pleasure. So simple. Yet so infinitely complicated. Every woman different…

To be continued.