Don't tell anyone: I'm a whore

Thank you to Sex in the Public Square for giving me the space to write.  

Allow me to introduce myself.  My name is Julia B. Adams.  Here's what you need to know in order to catch up with where I want to begin writing.  I'm almost 40-years-old, I've been married for about 10 years and we have two daughters.  In fact, I'm not all that different from my friends, peers, and colleagues - graduate degrees, careers, families, home life.  

I have a confession to make.  I'm not anything like them.  Julia B. Adams is not my real name.  I don't dare give you my real name because I've done something so bad that if others knew, I would risk damaging everything that matters to me: my family and my career.  Some people would treat us very differently.  People would condemn my husband, causing him to feel worse about this than he already does.  Our daughters lives' would be changed forever.  So what is this hideous crime?  I had sex for money.  

That's it.  

Safe.  Sane.  Consensual.  Sex.  Nobody was hurt.  No diseases were transferred.  No pregnancies occurred.  

In fact, there were more than a few times I enjoyed it, I made a lot of money at a time when we really needed the income, it gave me financial and sexual power and independence in my marriage, and I made some really good friends along the way.  

There were also a few times I didn't enjoy it.  There were more than a few times it was just work.   A couple of times I was kind of grossed out.  Once I did feel unsafe.  But, most importantly it took a toll on me emotionally and spiritually, and it was slowly taking a toll on my marriage.  

So as long as SitPS will have me, I will share my secret adventures with the readers here so that I can write freely and honestly.  It is the first time I have written about this time in my life and I'm feeling pretty emotional, to be honest.  That's why it needs to happen, though.  I'm a true believer that journaling is an important key to healing (and weight loss) and I'm [always] in pursuit of both. 

-- Julia